The Pursuit of Unhappiness

I was reading stuffs online today and stumble upon article. The article is called "The Pursuit of Unhappiness". It leaves me wondering, the pursuit of unhappiness...? Got see wrong or not....eh no wor! Unhappiness wor !! Didn't see wrong. doesn't that mean looking for misery and sadness ? Almost everybody I know looks for happiness, why would anybody with a sane mind would even look for misery ? Then after reading it, I realize it is not that people actually look for misery to be sad and to hurt themselves, but to look for happiness. It's a psychology article and I can't help but agree that it is true. It's a difficult concept to understand and to explain but can be simplified by 2 situation.

The writer's friend was in Inuit once, on a snowmobile in a middle of a blizzard. Their snowmobile broke down. Both the writer and the friend got off of the snowmobile and inspected the damage and came to conclusion that their snowmobile is beyond repair. The writer's friend lift up both of her hands and laugh. The writer irritated and worried said, "How can you laugh at the time like this ? We could die in the blizzard !"

And the reply was none other than, "When there is nothing left to do, you can only laugh.".

Take another situation, a group of friends had a party in the mountains. They were partying whole night in their summer clothing when a storm started. They have to walk back to the house, all drench and cold. But they were laughing all the way. Probably laughing at themselves.

From the 2 situations, the pursuit of unhappiness is not pursuing misery, but more like pursuing happiness through misery. It's a difficult concept to understand and seriously humans can be so stupid sometimes. >.<

Humans tend to create their own mess and problems. They know it hurts and breaks them but yet they still do it. From using the past as a source of unhappiness (yearning for the good old days or regrets) to avoiding reality checks and romanticizing unachievable high goals.

Happiness and contentment, easily understandable but so hard to achieve. "So, how do we be happy then ?" you ask ? Simple. Read the bible. While I don't mean your life will be smooth sailing once you read it, but if you follow what is written inside, you avoid a lots of unnecessary pain and you will always be very contented. Read and gather from it wisdom and knowledge, and it shall guide you in your journey during your ups and downs.

The Crying Game

Tears. Crying. Sobs. Whatever. We all know that when one is sad or in anguish they cry. I am not sure about you, but when some one tells me 'somebody' is crying, the first impression i have in mind will be a girl crying. And if you tell me, a guy is crying, the next impression i get is "OMG it must be a very serious problem he is going through." Now...that said. I can't help but feel very uneasy...and i want to ask your opinions, can a guy cry too ? Do you how much it means to a guy when they cry ?

Most males has the 'if you cry you are a sissy' mentality. Sadly, I am also one of them. Which leaves me thinking, a guy can only cry if he is really in deep pain and anguish. and if you cry because...lets say...you fall down and you hurt your knees and its very painful. Unless you break your knee people would probably think that you are a sissy or gay for crying. Which means, unless the condition of your knees is so bad that it shows out, you shouldn't be crying at all because you are a male and big boys dont cry.

For me, i feel it is kinda stupid. It's ok to cry over losing a foot ball game but it's not ok to cry because of heart wrenching situations ? My friend told me that it's ok to cry over the lost of your girlfriend, loved ones or a foot ball game...but not over hurt feelings...etc. It's sad to see that there are invisible strings attached in expressing your emotions. Hidden rules to decide whether you should cry or not even when you are so hurt inside.

It seems like tears are viewed as sign of failure, weakness, lost and utter despair. The reason why man are so against crying is because when they cry, it's a sign of lost of control and when you cry you expose your vulnerable side to others. That's why guys are so afraid to cry. Am i right lads ? XD

Another ridiculous thing is, you are considered not crying when your eyes are watery and even when your voice is cracking. But you are crying when your are sobbing and tears stream down your face. When you hold back your tears, you are the fighter, the man. But when you cry, you are the loser. Don't you think its sad ?

I have friends who try so hard not to cry when bad things happen to them ( like parents pass away). I asked them "Aren't you sad...? It's ok you know ? I am your friend. you can cry.". And they usual reply would be, "I am ok." while it's so obvious that their eyes are all red and they are fighting back the tears. During the night they wouldn't be able to sleep and they cry the whole night. Rage and depression is so common nowadays. In frustration, I seen teenagers hitting walls, throwing things around and kicking things. Basically pure destruction. In my opinion, guys need to be more honest to themselves, the depression and suicide rate would be much lower. Do you know that those that commit suicide are usually males ? It's sad that the society judge a male based on his ability as an actor.

I am not saying that you should start crying now and cry a bucket of tears, but to be more honest to your feelings. If you feel sad and if you feel like crying, feel free to do so. Find a friend who you can confide to. Who understands and won't go " OMG YOU PUSSY !" when you show your weaker side. But of course, cry for the appropriate reasons too...don't cry because your underwear has a hole in it. That said, i even have guy friends who cry in front girls to woo them. To gain sympathy and the girl's heart. Talk about being a drama king. Yucks.

I don't know why I write this post out either. I just feel that I should give my view on it...So the next time you really feel like crying, when things are so unbearable and you are at wits end, look for a place or someone you trust with your life, and let it go. Which is better ? To cry alone without anybody knowing the hell you are going through or to cry and have someone comforting and holding you ?

Happy Birthday to Me!

My birthday is gone and over with. To everybody who posted and commented on my facebook wishing me, thank you XDD I don't log on to facebook much anyway so sorry if i didnt reply...and to those who didnt wish me anything at all...I friggin hate you all. Seriously *sob* how can you forgot my *sob**sob* birthday ? *cries* i thought we were *sob* friends...*cries* arent we bff and gff ? *sob*...Ofc i am joking. Love you all wether you wish me or not. *i cant remember other people's birthday too sometimes.* What you heard someone talking ? You are dreaming. Obviously.

Anyway E message me today and wished me just before the clock strike 12am. Messaged each other. Conversation started with tension in the air but ends with tears and love (once again it's an hyperbolic statement and no we are not gay). I am glad the conversation ended well and for once no arguements. =/ I told him, to not neglect his friends, as another friend is already VERY boh song of him already. Glad he took the advice and didn't tell me how busy he is looking after 12 children, 10 cars to maintain and 20 wifes to look after all, over again (once again hyperbolic impression of how busy he is).

Talking of 'boh song'-ness is it me or is the dog angry ?....well...boh song ? he looks irritated and in a foul mood when i took it's photo. gulp.

Review : Skins

Well this series is not for minors at all. It's a British teen drama has controversial plots like homosexuality, drugs, narcissism, anorexia, stress, pregnancy, abuse, sex and the list goes on. Basically, if you are the type that goes "OMG this is so cool and I am gonna immitate it" everytime you finish a show, then please by all means don't watch it. XD It's for 18 and above. I repeat...18 and above...( not 8 years old and above ). Currently the series is divided into 2 generations. I am gonna to review the first batch first...here goes ! XD

Personal Thoughts

Basically this series is about a group of wankers...erm i mean teenagers ( damn ! being watching too much XD ) who are going through their college life. While some of the parts are quite exaggerated, it doesn't dismiss the fact that shit can happens and it is not out of the question that it might happen in real life too. When you watch the show, you will find out that relationships are fragile, friend or lovers, people will sometimes fail you. You will also see that people, are actually very emotional creatures. They might say that they hate you, but inside they don't really feel that way.

For me, the reason i like this show is probably because i don't share the same life style as them. If you ask me wether I would like to have a lifestyle like theirs after watching the show, I would answer "No.". Why ? You ask ? Sure it's fun and what not. The show glorifies sex and drugs. Free sex, drugs and rave are cool. Sure maybe it's true for certain people. But what really matters is the result that follows after all the fun. Does drugs solve the matter ? No, the problem is still there and you might have even made it worst.

Everybody knows sex is good. True, sex always make you feel good. But seriously, spreading my seeds around its not exactly a thrilling thing to think off. Who knows how many people your current partner has slept with. You run a risk for STD, AIDS and also pregnancy (shit happens. Condom has a hole..etc ). I rather reserve my seeds for someone I really like. Basically for me, strangers = not comfortable = not in the mood =awkward = hard to initiate love making mood. Just imagine having a classmate ( I am not talking about gf and bf here btw ) of a different gender sitting beside you in lectures and then one day you are in thrown into a room with him/her and your friends call you to sleep with him/her. Can you do it ? Well...for me...No...It will be awkward for me cause I don't even know her well. @.@ lolz and that's where drugs and alcohol come in. To make the job easier.

To be honest, if you are mixing out with the wrong group and you being the only Christian, it can be pretty stressful haha. Besides, I can talk in their 'language' very well if I wanted too haha. Just that sometimes I pretended not to know to get myself out from the awkward conversations. It's like your friends would be urging you to sleep with a girl because she is all wet about you and you would be hesitating cause you know what you are doing is wrong but at the same time you don't want others to look at you as a pussy and lose your 'cool'. Worst, your friends will start to think that you are gay. Seriously, it just doesn't feel right to sleep with someone I barely know...it's like a big alarm going off in you screaming "DONT DO IT. DONT DO IT." =S But I am glad that in every situation I have went through, when I said my NOs there would always be one friend in the midst who would defend me and get me out of the mess.

I still remember what this particular guy said, and I am glad he help me out. "Give him a break, he is a Christian dude. You don't find dudes like him around nowadays. He didn't force his chastity belt on you so do me a favour and stop stressing him out." I don't know if they have been calling me names like Holy Virgin Vincent or stuffs like that but I am sure they still hold respect for me and whenever they have problems they will look for me for advice. That I am sure off :).

When you watch the show. Don't watch because you think that what they are doing is cool. But watch it because you know that you should never indulge in this kind of lifestyle no matter how fun it is. When you watch and see the consequences they later face, learn from it so that you won't do the same mistake. I can somehow relate to the show...not directly but indirectly. ;) No more elaborations on that haha.

The Cast

Tony is a cool guy and very good looking. Good in studies, sports and basically dates the head of the cheerleader type. Every girl would die to have a date with him...but don't be fool ! He is actually a very !@@$#$@% guy ! He betray friends, cheats on his girl friend, manipulate people, make a fool of people, sleep around, and yada yada the list continues. Basically he is douche bag. His character is very despicable. It was written in the actor's blog, that he was minding in his own business on the streets and some people pass by and said "oh you are the guy from Skins. You are a twat." and walk off. That is the degree of how evil and jerk-ish his character is ! He tried to change his personality to get Michelle back but failed as he was later knock down by a bus. After the accident, he suffered a huge damage to his brain. Though he survive, he suffered amnesia and has a change of personality, making him much more loveable...though at the cost of his social standing. From the coolest boy to nothing in one day. Through out season 2, he has really went through a lot. Though he is a bad ass, i really can't help but feel for him...poor dude.

Michelle is the Tony's (unfortunate) girlfriend. She is beautiful and dedicated to Tony. Though Tony is a d**khead all the time. Though at later point in the series she finally ditched Tony and calls it quits. Way to go girl !

Sid is Tony's best friend. Unlike Tony he is shy and struggles in his studies. Though being Tony's best friend, Tony always exploited his soft side and manipulate him. He sees Tony as his role model and he is always there for him when he is in trouble. He has a crush on Tony's gf...Michelle. He is also trying to lose his virginity but not having much luck due to being not popular (lolz). He later develops feelings for Cassie.

Cassie is anorexic lass. She is beautiful but due to not taking food, she is very skinny. Her family never seems to pay attention to her needs. She is pitiful...I really find her pitiful. She has feelings for Sid at the beginning of the series but it goes unnoticed for some time. She is a very cheery and friendly but she hides her problems and battle in her heart.

Then there is Jal, a girl who plays the clarinet very well. Her mother ran away while she was young. She has 2 brothers and her fathers cares for them. Not much is known about her until season 2. She becomes pregnant in season 2 because of Chris.

Chris is the joker of the group. He likes parties. He has a very horrid family back ground though. His brother died of disease at young age, his mother left him and his father hates him. He has no place to stay and is currently living in the school dorm. His father rejects him when he tried to ask for his help when Chris's mother ran away. In the first season, Chris falls for her psychology teacher, Angie and when things fail, his 2nd love interest is Jal. He also have 2 best buddies, namely Maxxie and Anwar.

Anwar is a muslim. BUT he has no qualms on premarital sex, drugs or alcohols. D= weird isn't it. And in case you haven't notice by now. Anwar is acted by the actor in Slum Dog Millionaire. His family is very strict about sex and alcohol, but little Anwar just take it easy and of course does everything in secret. He might be open minded, but he has problem with his gay friend Maxxie until his father says otherwise.

Maxxie. What can I say about him ? He is good looking and cute. I like his hair. It looks natural on him unlike those lala chai you see in Malaysia. He loves dancing and drawing and i like both his dance and drawing. So coooool ! XD Before you ladies goes GYAAAH ! and pounce on him, i might wanna add that he is gay. XD He treasures Anwar as his best friend ( he nvr has any gay interest in Anwar and neither do Anwar has any gay interest in him. Do take note. ) but Anwar has difficulty in accepting him as gay.

The Conclusion

At first impression, you might find the series very shallow for your liking. Though as you continue to watch on you find that this show is a bit similar to Dawson's Creek ( Chris and Angie ) and a more mature 'version' of Friends. I am quite hook up with this series now and I hope it will continue to be good. The story line is kinda addictive is I might add. I particularly like the episode that features Maxxie and Anwar, as they struggle on the topic of homosexuality as I was afraid that Anwar and his family would condemn Maxxie for being gay. Most dramas features gay dudes as the out cast of the group, but in this series, Maxxie is still part of the group though he is gay. Even in real life, people tend to hate gays. I have a few friends who are totally hate gays. I believe that you should hate the practise but not the person...though you should also be careful that you don't get influence by them too...>.<

I also like Sid. He is a very loyal friend even though Tony always exploited him. I know how it feels to be exploited by a friend and at the same time still having concern for that particular friend. It's not easy and I am happy that he was there for Tony when Tony needed him the most. Though i thought that he should have at least stand up for himself when Tony verbally abuse him. >.>

And that's all for my review. :) If you are an mature and open minded and thought you have seen it all, try this show but if you aren't comfortable with shows that has excessive swearing, drugs and what not, don't watch it by all means because you would get offended and flame my blog.

Update(s?) ( very short one )

It's weekends again and vincent is free ! So it's time for updates :D yay ! I have been around KL broadening my horizon a bit. Every time I tell myself, "I surely need to blog about this when i get home", I end up sleeping instead...which leads me with so many events behind time that I need to blog about, which when i think about it makes me lazy. lol. Basically, done a lot, seen a lot and experience a lot ( mostly fun and not elaborating. XD )

Anyway i just have my maths test. As you all know Vincent hate maths and maths love Vincent. So it's like an escapable cruel reality that i need face. How are you going to apply Trigonometry or let's say...Differentiation in real life ? Take a market place for example, "Aunty i want 2 cos 2x + 3 kos 4x chicken with a taste of the first differentiation equation pl0x ? " Try talking to the

chicken selling Ah Sam like that and see if she takes out a pen and paper and starts calculating or a "WT* are you talking about ? So you want chicken or not now ?"

Anyway I am watching a series called Skins which i will be reviewing in the next post :D It's not a show for everybody to be honest...and I don't really recommend the show to anybody who isn't of age. >.> Nevertheless I find the show entertaining. :P

oh btw, my bday is on 19th of October. Let's see who is keeping my blog updated and who is not. hehehe.