An Aching Heart

I am going through those moody periods again...Xing Ju calls it PMS without blood and other calls it emo. Where have all my friends gone to ? I tend to worry a lot. Thinking of the future and what not...trying to be in control of everything so that everything will happen as planned...and when thinks fails miserably i get very upset and insecure...sigh. And when that happens and friends not around, i sing Que Sera Sera to comfort myself. LOL here is the lyrics XD. Very old song i know LOL ! but i like Vonda Shepard's version.

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I was just a child in school
I asked my teacher what should I try
Should I paint pictures
Should I sing songs
This was her wise reply

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will there be rainbows day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said

Que sera sera
Whatever will be will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera

What will be, will be
Que sera sera...

The Same Now, Then and Tomorow

XD guest what ? It was 19th of October yesterday. It was my birthday !! XD Honestly I thought that i will celebrating with myself this year since everybody was on 'cold-shoulder mood' for the past few days...especially the youth, bro and my room mate wai hong...though i did smell something fishy about the sudden change of mood and atmosphere. I was wondering if they were planning a surprise party for me...but then i shove of the thought thinking that i am hoping for too much. Bro was kinda nasty though. Not only did he act a little bit mean to me but he didnt even tell me that he is coming back to ipoh ! /pif (RO emoticon)

And there i was going to youth feeling a little bit off...

"walao they really dont know today is my birthday ar? T_T"

i thought and i felt like shouting

"SMLJLJP ! TODAY MY BIRTHDAY AR !! I JUST FAILED A SUBJECT SO STOP TALKING ABOUT STUDIES ALREADY LAR !!! MCBBBB... ".

LMAO just joking lar. There is no way say such vulgar things in rl...XD Some of the youth that ussually have the 'tidak-apa' attitude suddenly start asking "Eric got come back ar ?" I was still a little bit angry with big bro that time cause he no reply sms...so i went "Dunno eh...u go ask him lar."

Join auntie reb for dinner before my father called me and asked me when i am going home...WHICH WAS A HUGE SURPRISE ( is he in the 'COLD SHOULDER KWONG YEW' plan too ? something is fishy..)...so there i was emo-ing as i make myself home after excusing myself from dinner...still no sms from friends...HAIZ...then i send a "...T_T" sms to big bro and he finally replied me with a ":-( "...well at least he is understand what i am trying to tell him...so i tar kei for a while to kill time while waiting for the clock to strike 12am...damn...

i sound like some birthday-desperado. I was thinking of buying a muffin and stick a candle into it and sing depressing birthday-to-me-songs like those anime scene where you usually laught at if nobody wish me at 12...then suddenly at 11.20 got water dripping sound(hp message tone) ! and i thought "no bad...11.20 got people start wishing dy"...or so i thought...when i look at the message, i was distraught.

"Hi Vincent...Penny here...can fetch me back kampar tomorow?"

False alarm. I was like "DENGGGGG"...

It was 11.45 when jia called. False alarm again ? Not a chance. This time it is for real but a little bit fishy...

"Hey Kwong Yew ! Where are you now ? "

"Home lorrr..."

"Just wanna wish you happy birthday now cause i will be very busy later. Happy Birthday."

"Oh thx !!! XD" (seriously i was wondering what the heck he is so busy with to the point of not be able to even to ring up a fren to wish him a happy birthday? pcc perhaps ? XD")

It was 11.50 and I thought that i have broken the record of my life by having only one fren wishing me 'Happy Birthday' during my special day T_T. I was looking at my mini pincher and was planning to teach her how to talk hoping that she can wish and sing for me for my next birthday when she suddenly jumps off her sofa and ran to the door and start barking.

Then somebody open my metal gate outside of house...i was like "hah a visitor at 12 ? wah...i am not going to get robbed during my birthday am I...? OMG a burglar with a cake !!! (joking =p)" Then see see it is Big Bro ( with the cake and candle T_T), Jia Hsin(holding my birthday gift), Auntie Reb, Wai Hong (doing monkey face), Calisa, Sze Yan, Khat and Ee Ren. OMGGGGG!!! I was soooo stunned that I dont know what expression to give. But truthfully i was very very happy...soo happy.

Then they start singing birthday song outside...now the whole neighbourhood knows my birthday now XD but wat touch me the most is the person holding the cake...i dont know wether he came back to ipoh or not...and i was still hoping that he will reply my message by telling me he is coming back or not and i was a little bit angry cos he is mean...when i see him holding the cake...i was very happy and touched. Really felt like hugging him but so many people there...XP so i gave it a second thought. Threw my dog into the room. Penny and Xing Ju also wish me too when the clock struck 12...XD


During my birthday...i made a wish. When auntie reb call me make wish...so many wishes came into my mind...girlfriend ( nah...expensive and ma fan), studies (nah...just be more hardworking. not worth wasting a wish), more friends? ( nah...quality over quantity)...etc and then i finally made a wish..."I wish that everybody that i ever cared for...my family members, big bro, my good frens and the same old me will be here in this room again next year to celebrate and everything now remains the same for...(er how long ar ? i actually stop and i wondered...)...er forever kuar..." then i blew the candle...i do admit that i am being greedy by saying 2 wishes at once =P. The cake was delicious. XD it is a mud cake XD


And this is the gift that kor kor and seem yee brought for me T_T....thanks....it fits me a little though i think it is quite exagerated.


Later we go yum cha. Then bro fetch me home to sleep...Then later on sunday in church...they call me to go out and dedicate. I didnt cause big bro wasnt there...i was planning to dedicate to him...and then the whole church sing birthday songs for me...This year's birthday was the best...though my family wasnt around...big bro planned a very nice party for me...T_T

Thanks everybody...=D It is a nice surprise....=D